A This to Shall Pass

Life is a freestyle dance , where you are thrown all kinds of beats, slow ones, fast ones, happy ones, sad ones. We move to the rhythm and depending on our attitude, prospective and circumstances, we can do that perfectly balanced spin and remain fly, or we must keep putting our arms down to create momentum for the spin. Well right now, I am trying to turn my life upside. That last couple of years have been difficult, life changers. The death of a family member, the loss of a child, They have forced me to grow and reevaluate my position in life. As I have begun to analyze myself, if forces me to analyze my environment and the people I have chosen to surround myself with. Recently I went and hung out with my old crew, and I felt alone. like really alone in a room full of people. I wasn't trying to scope my next jump off, or get messed up and dance the night away. I got some issues that are going on that remain on my mind 24-7. Like how can I change my stars, how can I change this situation. What do I need to do to become the person I know I can and should be. I guess I have been super reflective because I am quickly approaching my ten year class reunion. This year I determined that I was going to go back to school. Because working dead end jobs, for menially pay is not where its at. I know education will provide me with hope, not that I don't have it now, but the road will be much harder. I know I will have to continue to work hard, and survive, strive and thrive. But I feel like I have been spining my wheels for way to long. I want something bigger and better, I feel so unsatisfied somedays. But I am grateful, to have a job, a car, roof over my head, and food to eat. But I guess if you dont have those big dreams, something to chase after than life wouldnt be as interesting